Lay To Rest...

This is a story of how a girl meets a boy and the nothingness that transpired of that supposedly eventful meeting.

I met him, unfortunately, in high school where rebellion, confusion and stupidity reigns among the whole young population of the school. It was in my second year class that I’ve first set my eyes on him. We were classmates. I was a transferee back then so I was slightly being stared at for being the “new” girl in school but that never stopped me from making friends. Anyways, I live in a small town and most of the students in my new school were my classmates from elementary. But then, he was something new to me. You see, he was from another elementary school and I’ve never seen him in town before.

I had a crush on him in high school. It’s not the first-time-I-look-at-him-and-I’m-captured type of crush but a I-am-discovering-the-good-things-about-him type of crush. Honestly, I don’t why I had a crush on him. He has that annoying attitude of ruining my day by teasing me from morning till afternoon. Nevertheless, he was neat and charming, talented and friendly, he’s got a brain too so maybe that was the reason why I admire him.

I could still vividly remember the day he almost made me cry. He was teasing me again and what he said actually hit me like a meteor with a 100-million-mile diameter hits the surface of the earth. What he said hurts and I think he has no idea of what he’s done. But my feelings never changed! He was still on the second top spot on my crush list. Mind you, the top one on the list was a celebrity. Well, that distorted and highly illogical decision of still liking him even though he’s done bad things to me, I blame that on my adolescence. It’s definitely scientific! That period magnifies all emotions a young maiden’s fluttering heart is capable of feeling. So that day, when I could have felt a major irritation, I was vengefully angry with him. That day, I thought that I could not forgive him.

But eventually, I forgave him. If you are in a religious school where you pray the rosary everyday and have a daily 1-hour discussion about the goodness of God and the lives of saints and martyrs, you have no choice but to willingly forgive all the people that have done you wrong.

If somebody would ask me if who fooled me to eat or even like “kinilaw” then I could have answered, “That pesky classmate of mine in high school whom I want to impress so much that I’ve done the unthinkable – eating raw food.” Yup! He would be the answer. It happened during our Christmas party. After all the dancing and games, we got hungry but we’ve run out of palatable food so we have no choice but to eat the “kinilaw” instead. I was hesitant and hungry. And he keeps on vouching for the taste of that “kinilaw”. So there I was, hungry and wanting to impress him with my bravery. By the time he gave me that tiny “puso”, I dived into the throng of party-crazed people surrounding the table, picked a tiny piece of “kinilaw”, bite into the “puso” and put the “kinilaw” into my mouth. And I was hooked.

Unfortunately, that event didn’t drove us to be closer. We’re not even close friends. That border between friendship and acquaintanceship, that’s us. Until we’ve graduated in high school and separated ways in college, we’re still in that border.

But he surprised me in college. He started texting me. I was of course full of bliss! I kept on thinking that maybe he liked me. But something happened. So there I was, happily replying to all his text messages and then I’ve found out that he was not the one texting me. It was one of his friends. Ouch! I felt betrayed and so I texted a not-so-nice message relaying how I felt. What he did didn’t broke me into pieces but then it left a mark on me.

We’ve stopped texting each other. Lived our own lives. Then I met him in Ayala one afternoon. He was on his way home and I was on my way to the mall. We said “hi” to each other and then awkwardly went our separate ways not knowing that it would be the last time that we’ll see each other.

He died. He was part of the unfortunate incident which happened last year. He was one of the passengers of the “MV Princess of the Stars” which capsized due to Typhoon Frank. It was so unexpected that I could not believe the news when I first heard about it. I did not cry but I felt sad. He could have done so many things in his life. He could have been a great seaman. He could have the chance of changing the world. He could have fulfilled his dreams. He deserve the chance to live. Up until now, he’s body is not yet found. I don’t know if it’s stupid to have false hope on that fact but for the time that have passed, that hope is dwindling.

But, wherever he may be, in heaven or in earth, he will always have a place in my heart forever…

To Rex Vincent…