A Letter To A Bitch

To the bitch which doesn't deserve a name:

Back off from my sister!!!

Don't you know that insulting her and making her life miserable only shows how insecure you are of her?!? Or are you just so stupid, thinking that hurting other people will make your life better? Well, grow up! You're extreme ways on making other people's lives miserable is actually not helping you. You are helping them become stronger! And as you, asking respect from her when you don't definitely deserve one, well, that is just so childish and immature. You don't ask respect, it is earned.

Telling her that she has the morality lower than a dog's, then you have the morality lower that a vulture, because you prey on misery and death and an attitude of a snake, crawling in dark filthy places and having no friends except other snakes because other mild animals are just so afraid of your venomous bite. And the way you hiss irritates them!

Why can't you accept a humble and heart-felt sorry? Are you really that evil and wicked that you don't see the goodness of people? Are you really that malicious that you put malice in innocent and desperate acts?

I have no idea how your parents raised you but seeing your attitude, they will disown you. Buy some manners! Show some respect, especially to your countrymen. Or you could just jump off a cliff! That would give so many Filipino people in New Zealand so much joy that they would have a picnic on the day you jump off and die. 

Get a life! Don't mess with anybody's life because you don't have that right! Spare the world with your malice!

Signed:

Joann

Lessons I've Learned From Him

I've been chatting with this guy for almost five months now. I don't know if he deserves an introduction because this is definitely a hate blog post for him. So let's start off the lessons.

LESSON 1: When he doesn't call or text everyday then forget about him.

I learned this the hard way and I learned my lesson very well. So there you are, regularly chatting and texting and then he just stopped texting and he was not online anymore. Then you start worrying because maybe he was hospitalized or worst -- dead. And then you reprimanded yourself not asking his address because you can't attend his wake if ever he was dead. Then you start staring at your phone for long hours waiting for a text that eventually did not come. It was three weeks ago that I've last heard of him. Three weeks of thinking unimaginable things happening to him. Three sad and low weeks. And then you come upon a status message of your Facebook friend which states that if he doesn't text or call you everyday then he is just not that into you. Bang! I realized how stupid I was. Letting a guy keep me hanging and wondering. Treating me like a kite. When he can't stand the wind, he cut me off and left me in the azure sky -- to wander and be lost.

LESSON 2: If he is not willing to open up his problem then forget about him.

Girls don't like to be put in the backseat. Maybe some girls does but definitely not me. If you want to be on my front passenger's seat then put me in your front passenger's seat. Don't brush off questions about your problems. Share it. Guys, open yourself up and reveal your shortcomings and insecurities. Girls will appreciate that.

LESSON 3: Never give second chances or any kind of chances.

I hate it when guys ask for second chances and never doing anything to deserve it. Chances are not given, they are earned. Just like respect. You have to prove that you deserve a chance and that means not waiting for the girl to make the move on how you could get that chance and proving your worth. You have to do something to earn it, not wait for a CHANCE to earn it.

LESSON 4: Never say "Sorry" and don't accept any apologies. 

Words mean nothing. Whatever language they are being said, they mean nothing. Actions does. So guys, you should not act pathetically saying sorry all the time when what you did was done in an act of thoughtlessness, insensitivity and negligence. And girls, never accept pity apologies. Just like chances, let them earn your forgiveness through actions.

LESSON 5: Have friends around you.

Good friends. What could I have done without them? When you're feeling low and thinking that the day is the worst day ever, they are there to cheer you up with their endless chatter about nonsense things. Salute your friends! They are way better than potential boyfriends.

Why am I so fucked up right now?

The answer? Well, there's really nothing happening in my life right now aside from being bothered by the annoyingly and pathetic snickering that I'm currently hearing somewhere at the back of my cubicle. So here I am. Turning up the volume and listening to someone singing about how summertime guys are so cool. Summer. Is that word supposed to be synonymous to the word fun? So not true right now.

But here I am. Stucked. And hating it. My life for the past 8 months has practically been a routine. And not a very exciting one at that. Why can't life be just easy. Why can't we just have 4 hours to go to work and the remaining hours to learn about ourselves. Life is definitely a bitch. I mean, I don't know how many hours the Caveman people worked during the Ice Age but I know for sure that their work actually developed them for who they truly are. Hunting makes them more patient and resourceful. So, here I am. Sitting in my cubicle. Thinking about my freaking work. Doing nothing about it. I'm just hoping that it won't hunt me in my dreams tonight because if it does then I've probably pull that trick Veronika did in Veronika Decides To Die. So how does my work help me develop myself? Well, aside that it definitely makes me fat by sitting all day drinking bitter sugarless coffee, it's supposed to make me a better strategist. You know, thinking of some ways to be able to explain some incomprehesible codes that I did not make and never dreamed of making. Yeah. Like that's really helpful. Aside from that it helps me develop a not-so-severe-and-painful yet intolerable headache, it definitely did not help knowing something about my inner self. You see, my work actually involves finishing some tasks within a very strict schedule so that some people in Japan could be their shopping experience more efficient.

With a job like this, I'd probably die not knowing anything about my inner self. How pathetic.

I definitely need a change...

I'll be working on it...

I'll make it happen...

I won't die a pathetic bitch who has only seen the four corners of her boarding house...

I'll stop ranting and get back to my miserable work...

To be or not to be?

I've been asking myself that exact question since I woke up this morning. To be on sick leave or not... (big sigh)

I'm not sick, physically, but I'm not feeling well emotionally and psychologically. It has to do with something at work. I just need to escape from all things and people in there and the only way to do it is to be on sick leave.

It is in these times that gets me thinking if I should pursue a career in cooking or books which are two of my greatest passions. It also made me regret my decision to choose practicality over passion while I was deciding what course to take in college. Apparently, taking up Information Technology opens a lot of opportunities and is more practical than taking up either Library Science or Hotel and Restaurant Management. And Culinary Arts is too expensive.

I know that I tend to curse (saying "ahak") when irritated and angry or just having fun. And today, I'm not happy. Cursing without the people you curse in front of you is such a waste of effort and I don't want to befoul the air in my room for a nonsense and useless cause. So I'll just rant in the web. Or I could do this: read a book and forget about all things happening around me; the feelings of disappointment in my heart and the evil thoughts inside my head. And maybe go home to my parents for comfort and love.

That's it. I'm going home and read a book...

Maybe I'll bring my new book (The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman) if ever I would finish reading Eldest by Christopher Paolini during this weekend.

And to end this entry in a happy note, I'm sharing one of my favorite quotes...

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
— Dr. Seuss